Being dark and gritty doesn't actually make something good. At least, not by itself. The Dark Knight is an interesting case, because no one actually wants to be him. Spider-Man is just a normal guy with powers, so being him just gives a regular person superstrength and the ability to save on gas money, via webslinging. Iron Man is a smart, witty, charming, and has all kinds of hi-tech toys. Being him is basically like being a celebrity James Bond. Superman comes from a loving home, is incorruptibly pure, and has a truckload of superpowers. Obviously, that's a pretty sweet deal. But Batman? He has no stable relationships in his life, possible obsessive-compulsive disorder, and lives life in fluctuating states of anger, guilt, and depression. People really mean to say they want Batman's resources, making them a fit billionaire with cool gadgets, at which point you're back to Iron Man.
The other thing someone might mean when they say "I want to be Batman," is that they want his drive. Bruce Wayne has the work ethic of a madman, being a master of forensic science, engineering, strategy & tactics, as well as a dozen martial arts disciplines. That's without superpowers, obviously, meaning each and every person could become a version of Batman, if they just tried hard enough. The comics even reinforce this idea with the Batmen of Many Nations and Oracle, a wheelchair-bound cyber vigilante. Once again, that drive comes from tragedy and loss, things no one wishes on themselves.
All of that is just Bruce Wayne as the Man, though. What about Batman as the Hero? The Dark Knight is fear. To criminals, he's a movie monster, like Jason or Michael Meyers; a creature from the bowels of the shadows, come to punish their wrongdoings. To those criminals' victims, however, he is an unrelenting spirit of Justice. He stalks the thugs, rapists, and murderers, a third party bringing order back to the streets. Politically, the Detective is very attractive on both sides of the spectrum. Conservatives laud him for his harsh stance on crime and self-reliance, while liberals take heart in the fact that he understands some crime is born of necessity or social issues and that he never steps over the final line to take a life.
Batman's refusal to kill is probably the biggest complaint his detractors have towards him. Such complaints are easy to make when you've never held a life in your hands or felt the pain of someone being taken from you. Aside from that though, Batman just doesn't kill. It's a choice he makes, just like billions of people who make different choices from each other. A story is not about what the reader/viewer/listener would do in a certain situation, it's what the character in said situation does. Obviously, that doesn't excuse huge gaps in logic, but the main concern is internal consistency.
Something else usually mentioned in some way, but normally glossed over, is Batman's intelligence. Now, you might be saying "How is that glossed over? It's his defining characteristic as a superhero!" However, this isn't about his ridiculous problem-solving abilities or his insanely customized gear (shark repellent, guidable boomerangs, the Bat-motif on literally every piece of hardware, et cetera), it's about his wit. Batman is what's called a guile hero, using quick-thinking, know-how, and a little luck to get out of perilous situations. As a detective or builder, he can spend time working things out, but here, it's all instinct. In most stories, he's halfway done with some huge plan, with a brilliant masterstroke right when there looks to be nowhere out. It's a trait audiences love, across cultures. Spider-Man's powers might not be at awesome levels, but he's always getting into foes' heads and using his gut to MacGuyver his way to defeating stronger opponents; and sure, it's awesome to see Superman throw down with Doomsday or Zod, but boy, is it ever great when he gets to outsmart Lex Luthor or Brainiac.
No one of these things is what makes Batman legendary, it's everything working in tandem. Batman's the guy without powers (the underdog), he's flawed, but he's the ideal Man. It's been said that Marvel superheroes are right there with you, but DC characters are who you want to be. Maybe you don't really want to be Batman, no one really can be, but he fits right there in the middle. To close out, a line from "What Ever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" by Neil Gaiman. Batman and Superman are in the Arctic, at the Fortress of Solitude. Gotham's villains have gathered in a pact and vowed to kill the Dark Knight, when next they seem him. Superman has told Batman he's as good as dead if the Man of Steel takes him back. Batman's response:
"Every minute they're trying to kill me is a minute they aren't killing innocent people."
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